Young Love?

February 9, 2018





Well… it happened.  A Mother's worst fear.  A BOYFRIEND.  The cute and likeable kind.  DAMNIT. 

One of the girls has a boyfriend.  He is cute.   Very Cute.     Boyband cute.    And I fear… he knows it. 


I brought her lunch Tuesday.  And found her seated at a table with?  5 boys. 


A h e m.    And fist BUMP.  (must get her secret)


And yes.  I did.  Check Home Depot.  There is a two-for-one sale on Chastity belts… size small.




Thing 2’s new beau, took me back to Thing 1’s first boyfriend.


Ah, preschool and the innocence of a 5 year old.  Kyle is the boy.  Cute, but not too cute.


His dad and I sign in at the front desk.  He says:

"Oh yes, My son as a crush on your daughter.  He says she is pretty."


That's cute right?  Clearly a smart kid.  The Dad, well, he hesitates: 

"I’m not sure I should tell you this… you may think we are crazy."


I know, I just know, stomach flip flop kind of know , what follows will not be good.  And I? smile a nervous smile and brace for impact.





“Kyle said he is going to marry her.... and cut the babies out of her stomach with a knife when she gets pregnant."


"Hey, can they have a play date this weekend."


He is yelling, really, at this point.  I think he is at least.  You see...I have left the building. 

Like Elvis but with less sequins. 


We are NEVER (ever ever ever) having a playdate. We are not having any kind of date.   WE ARE NOT!


Because that? is messed up.

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