Well… it happened. A Mother's worst fear. A BOYFRIEND. The cute and likeable kind. DAMNIT.
One of the girls has a boyfriend. He is cute. Very Cute. Boyband cute. And I fear… he knows it.
I brought her lunch Tuesday. And found her seated at a table with? 5 boys.
A h e m. And fist BUMP. (must get her secret)
And yes. I did. Check Home Depot. There is a two-for-one sale on Chastity belts… size small.
Thing 2’s new beau, took me back to Thing 1’s first boyfriend.
Ah, preschool and the innocence of a 5 year old. Kyle is the boy. Cute, but not too cute.
His dad and I sign in at the front desk. He says:
"Oh yes, My son as a crush on your daughter. He says she is pretty."
That's cute right? Clearly a smart kid. The Dad, well, he hesitates:
"I’m not sure I should tell you this… you may think we are crazy."
I know, I just know, stomach flip flop kind of know , what follows will not be good. And I? smile a nervous smile and brace for impact.
“Kyle said he is going to marry her.... and cut the babies out of her stomach with a knife when she gets pregnant."
"Hey, can they have a play date this weekend."
He is yelling, really, at this point. I think he is at least. You see...I have left the building.
Like Elvis but with less sequins.
We are NEVER (ever ever ever) having a playdate. We are not having any kind of date. WE ARE NOT!
Because that? is messed up.