© 2017 Copyright | Kelly Ozley | Reality Writes

An Alarming Event

January 20, 2018

 

 

Mornings are, well a nightmare around here.  Two girls, One bathroom, one or both ill as a hornet as soon as toes graze the carpet.  One theatrical performance after another.  Each worthy of a standing ovation.  

 

My drama queens.

 

So… earlier this week

In an effort to wake up Thing 1

Much like waking a bear

Food laden belly

In the dead of a winter’s hibernation.

 

Not

 

Smart

 

So on my third attempt to awaken Thing 1

Read as "Get out of bed this instant.  I am not going to tell you again."

 

My sweet Thing 2 says:

 

“Oh Mom… I can do that for you.  I know you are busy.  I will get her up."

 

Isn’t it amazing?

She does hear me.

And sees I am overwhelmed.

In need of only a little cooperation.

 

I must really be pretty good at this, 

You know…

This Mom thing.

Will probably get a call for a R E A L I T Y show.

 

So you can imagine my surprise when I hear?

 

A

shrill

and

piercing

noise

 

Running up the stairs,

Spilling God's nectar

 

C O F F E E 

 

 

I hear Thing 1

 

“I’m going to kill you!

MOM!

MOM!

MOM! MOM! MOM! 

She is such a stupid jerk

I hate her

MOM!”

 

I reach Thing 1's bedroom 

and see this:

 

 

Thing 2's, kind and gentle wake-up call

Is facilitated via a

Toy siren

she dug out of the old toy box.

 

And

 

Has positioned at her sister’s ear

To delicately nudge her from her slumber.

 

And Thing 2 is enjoying the hell out of it.

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