I Becoming We

January 15, 2018



Our first picture as a family.  None of us are too sure.  Thing 2 just flew across several ponds and doesn't speak English.   Thing 1 just wants her Mommy and for the new baby to leave. I haven't slept in 27 hours and long for clean underwear and a toothbrush.  



Let me tell you how we got here. 


At 38 my doctor told I could not have children. 


“Well… looks you’re all done down here… “


Snap! Drop.  Glove one in the trash.


Snap!  Flop!  Glove two in the bin.


Out he walks.


I begin to sob 

and sob

and sob.


Not the attractive cry

like at the Oscar's.

The genuine, fall to the floor, someone just died cry

That one.

Because to me?

Someone did.


My father calls as I am getting my clothes on. 

“Kelly… I’m on my way to Detroit and my computer won’t act right.  What’s wrong with it?”


For the last time –




I am NOT tech support …

not for the computer

not for the television

and not for the microwave…

just press Add 30 seconds


“DAD!!!  Daddy I can’t have babies.”


“Oh okay I’ll call your sister.”


What The Hell!


Fast forward – 2 years. 

Lots of introspection

Lots of conversations w/ agencies

You'll hear about them.


I did the doctor thing

Took the drugs

Went through the heroic measures


Stood at the check in desk when the husband proclaims “I’m Steve.  I have semen for Mary Winslow”.

And I snickered like when someone expells a rancid fart in church


We were good to go, me and Donor 426

but it didn’t feel right

It wasn’t the right answer for me.


I dug in and asked my soul, God, anyone else up there who would listen.

And the answer I got was adoption.





(I am a little claircognizant)  

More on that later.


I picked a country in Eastern Europe

One most don’t even know exists.



The Republic of Moldova

Between Romania and the Ukraine.

The poorest country in Europe

Primary source for trafficked girls to the Middle East


That is

Sadly true


And in 7 months

and two L O N G trips across several ponds

with a 6 hour layover in Frankfurt

each time

and almost getting arrested in Romania

(that T O T A L L Y  deserves its own blog).

Like well orchestrated magic, Thing 1 was here.


18 months later I told my Dad I was doing it again.

I had a dream, just as clear as my vodka tonic. 

I saw another little girl, I knew she was supposed to be mine.


"Kelly do you have any idea how old you will be when she graduates college.”


“I do know Dad, but I appreciate your confidence in my intellect.  This is HAPPENING.  Buckle up.”

He dropped it.  He knew better.


11 months later I had baby #2, Thing 2.


I did it.

All by myself.

I am proud of that.

Proud of me.

So grateful to be part of us three.


Ergo, tis I who will be totally responsible for all the years of therapy they will require. 


My "conditions of employment" are

you will be kind

you will be educated

and the rest is up to you


I pray often that I am doing right by them & that they know how much they are loved.


And so this is how we became US.







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